I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
