Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You need a sexual gate keeper
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
