you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
