For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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