Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
