K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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