At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
