Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
