Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize