careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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