Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
