Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
