I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
