Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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