good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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