Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
