Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
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you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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