Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
