I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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