i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
