Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
