thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im holly from the hills drunk
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
