My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
