And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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