How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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