4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
two words...techno handjob
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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