Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
