I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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