who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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