Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize