I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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