my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
