You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
