girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
