Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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