they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
