I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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