were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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