just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize