quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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