you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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