You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
