i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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