Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize