I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
