16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
