Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
