i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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