is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
