i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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