Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize