question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize