the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
