My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
