I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
