my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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