She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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