Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize