3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Welp...herpes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
