Your dad touched me again.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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