I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
